Jennifer and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sunday

(With profound apologies to Judith Viorst)

I went to sleep with an ache in my stomache and now there's an ache in my head and when I got out of bed this morning I realized that my husband had been throwing up during the night and now he had to leave again and work thirty hours at the hospital. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Sunday.

At breakfast Emma got hot pancakes and Clara got hot pancakes and Nathan got hot pancakes and the twins got hot pancakes, but by the time I got to eat, all I got were cold pancakes.

I think I'll move to Morocco.

While we were getting dressed for church the babies unrolled the toilet paper and started to eat it and Nathan wanted to watch Mickey and I said no Mickey on Sundays and he wailed. And then we were running really late when I finally started to change Madeline's diaper and I pulled the tabs off and the diaper exploded little wet pee pee crystals all over the place and while I ran her up to the bathtub I hollered to Emma to get the vacuum out. I gave Madeline a quick bath and got her dressed and both babies cried lots and I ran downstairs and vacuumed up the little wet pee pee crystals.

On the way to church, Nathan whacked Clara in the head and Clara yelled at him and I yelled at Clara and I slammed on the brakes and my church bag spilled all over the floor of the van. We got to church forty minutes after it started and we stood in the foyer because there were no seats left in the chapel but the babies still needed their milk so we went into the mother's lounge and Nathan continued to cry while I fed the twins.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Sunday.

Someone got us a seat in the gym to listen to the meeting, but then Isaac wanted out of the stroller and Nathan wanted his snacks. Isaac crawled to me and wiped his nose on my skirt and cried and I wiped Nathan's nose with a tissue and he cried and demanded toys that I left at home.

In nursery I wiped lots of goopey runny noses. Someone suggested I use hand sanitizer. Who needs hand sanitizer?

At nursery singing time, Isaac sang with his wailing cries. At nursery coloring time, Madeline ate the other kids' crayons. At nursery snack time, the babies crunched the crackers with their little feet.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Sunday.

We came home and had carrots and goldfish soup for lunch. I hate goldfish soup. Nathan demanded treats. No treats, I said. I hope you learn, I said to Nathan, that treats are for kids who eat their carrots and goldfish soup. I hope the next time you have a treat, I thought, the chocolate crust part falls off and lands in Morocco.

In the candy stash, we had Lifesaver Gummies for potty rewards and there were leftover Dum Dums from Halloween and there was crystallized ice cream in the freezer. Guess which mother had no chocolate in the house?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Sunday.

That's what it was, because after lunch I decided to take a nap but the kids wouldn't be quiet. Maybe you can try tomorrow, said one of the kids.

Tomorrow, I thought, I am moving to Morocco.

So then we tried to make some cookies. One kid wanted to eat all the chips and another kid wanted to eat all the dough and a third kid cracked eggs on the counter instead of in the bowl. After the cookies were baked, the kids all disappeared while I got to clean up.

When we took the cookies to our friends, we forgot that it was freezing outside. I huffed and puffed while pushing the stroller up the hill and told the kids it was fun to be on a long and freezing cold walk. At the neighbor's house, the dog came running out barking and Nathan screamed. Inside the neighbor's house, Nathan demanded chocolate milk and then spilled it all over the carpet and entryway. On the way home, Nathan tripped and fell and started bleeding everywhere and I carried him the rest of the way.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Sunday.

Daddy was gone in the evening yet again and I hate it when Daddy is gone in the evening.

There was food all over the floor after dinner and I hate food all over the floor.

There was a forecast of an ice storm for the week and I hate forecasts of ice storms.

I couldn't find Nathan's Wall-E books, I had a huge pile of stuff on my bed, I changed more poopy diapers, and I was too tired to read to the kids.

When I finally went to bed, my house was too cold, my bedside light burned out, there were creepy sounds outside, and I found a stain on my shirt.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Sunday.

But I think some days are like that.

Especially when you're a mother.

(Never fear, even though all this truly did happen in one short day, this account is a little, um, melodramatic. The morning was as bad as it sounds, but the rest of the day--eventful as it was--was a whole lot better.)

Farewell

It is a bittersweet day.

An era of my life has officially come to a close.

And even though it is time for that era to end, I didn't expect to feel a certain degree of gnawing sadness. But I do.

My nursing days have come to a close.

I bid farewell.

Farewell, E-Z-2-Nurse Twins nursing pillow.


Farewell, breast pump.

Farewell, nursing pads.

Farewell to special underclothing, to leaking orifices, to pumping and let downs, and to extreme hunger, thirst, and fatigue.

Farewell to nursing in public, to blankets and nursing covers, to little teeth that bite.

Farewell to engorgement, tenderness, sore ducts, special creams, and to threats of mastitis. (Amazingly, I never got mastitis during my nursing years. That is a minor miracle.)

Farewell.

I know nursing doesn't work for everyone, but it was the right choice for me. I never loved it, but I didn't mind it, either, and I felt strongly that it was the best thing I could do for my infants.

I am proud that I nursed all five of my children--Clara for six months, Emma and Nathan for ten months, and the twins for eleven months. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Regarding the twins, I am proud that I was able to nurse them without supplementing. I am proud that I learned to nurse them together. I am proud to say that I found nursing twins to be far easier and more convenient than bottle-feeding them. I am proud that I exceeded my goal of nursing them for six months by comfortably nursing them for eleven months.

I know I shouldn't be "proud," but I am.

At times, nursing seemed to consume all of my time and energy, especially nursing the twins.

But it was a sacred time. Yes, sacred. And I will cherish the memory of it.

And I will enjoy my newfound freedom!

This Year

I debated for a while about putting these items on my blog, and I finally decided to do so.

My (main) goals for 2009:

Be Still.

Be Calm.

Be Present.


Our family scipture for this year:

1 Nephi 3:7:

"I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

Recent Events--or Non-Events

It's been very quiet around here.

But recently:

Nathan and I visited the local fire station with his preschool group.

He was in heaven.

Madeline has become very adept at going up and down the stairs. Isaac generally watches from the bottom. Surprisingly, my very determined little baby boy hasn't shown much interest in climbing the stairs. Yet.

Madeline's hair is getting longer, and she can now sport some fairly amazing hairdos.

Myself and Mimi (my mom) gave Emma knitting lessons. Emma has been knitting like crazy ever since.

Emma and Clara made a long paper chain to mark the number of days until we go to DISNEYLAND!

Isaac and Madeline have a particular fondness for the dishwasher.

We're boring. But those are the pics from the last few weeks.

Blah

I am stuck in the doldrums of winter.

Ick.

As always, the month of January reminds me that I will never live in a climate where there are two seasons instead of four. I'm no Cali girl, but I do like the sunshine and at least moderate warmth. I am looking forward with great eagerness to the arrival of spring.

The cold has frozen me into inactivity. It reminds me of the opening lines of The Cat in the Hat, where is is too cold to go outside and too wet to play--only, in our case, there is no snow or rain... just freezing cold.

Ick.

I am tired and unmotivated.

For weeks now, I have been staring at the walls of my house, seeing or thinking about things I should be doing, but feeling too frozen to do them. What's more, there are so many things I'd like to be doing right now, but I have a hard time seeing past the "here-and-now" tasks of taking care of my home and children. And getting out and about, with two mobile babies who have outgrown their infant carriers, is a big undertaking. Nor does Brian's killer schedule help. So we stay in the house all the cold, cold, cold day.

The onset of spring will, inevitably, spur me into action. But for now, I am hibernating.

Dear Mr. President

Mr. President, congratulations. Today was an historic day, one that I will not soon forget. I don't envy you nor the challenges that lay at your feet. Although your election was not my choice, you and I both believe in the greatness of this nation. You are now my president, and my prayers are with you.

A Survey

I came across this survey on a friend's blog and decided to do it, just because. And yes, I know the responses are numbered incorrectly.

1. Who will you be with Saturday night? Brian and the kids.

2. What woke you up this morning? I don't know exactly what woke me up, but I woke up at precisely 5:34 a.m., forty-five minutes early :(

4. Is tomorrow going to be a good night? I hope so. Brian is on call, though, and it gets a bit lonely 'round here when he's gone.

5. Did you kiss or hug anyone today? My girls, before they left for school. Nathan. The twins.

6. Who was the last person you rode in a car with? Nathan and the twins. I was driving, of course.

7. How many myspace accounts do you have? Zero.

8. What was your first thought this morning? "Make sure you send notes to school with the girls today."

9. Do or did you like school? Yes. And I plan to go back within the next ten years...or less.

10. Would you take a bullet for anyone? Absolutely.

11. Where would you like to live? No particular place--but I know where I don't want to live!

12. Do long distance relationships work? No personal experience here, but yes, I suppose so--although it sounds awfully hard.

13. What do you want to be when you grow up? Depends on the day...a writer, a teacher, maybe a writing teacher.

16. Who do you wish you were with right now? Me, myself, and I. I'm here.

17. Who was the last person that left you a comment? Andrea.

19. Would you rather talk on the phone or chat in IM? Phone, all the way.

20. How many car accidents have you been in? One, not my fault.

21. Do you listen to music every day? Generally, yes.

22. Do you still go trick or treating? If escorting my kids counts, then yes!

23. What was the last thing you ate? Bow tie pasta w/ grilled chicken. Yum yum.

24. Are you a fast typer? Yes.

25. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? One.

26. What are you doing tonight? Dinner, homework w/ kids, laundry, bedtime rituals, chauffering to piano & Girl Scouts, and if I'm lucky, reading.

27. If you had one whole day to yourself, what would you do? Sleep in, exercise, read read read, go out to eat, take a nap, and read some more.

28. Is anything bothering you? The fact that I'm sitting here doing this instead of doing other things I should be doing.

29. Do you miss someone? Yes, many of my dear friends have come and gone, moving to other places. Can't they all just stay put?

30. What do you want to do right now? Take a nap. Read.

31. Are you listening to music right now? No. Babies are sleeping.

32. Are you in a good mood? Just ho hum.

33. What are you doing this weekend? No big plans. It's supposed to be frigid. We'll have a family movie night on Friday night, and then we'll watch the weekend unfold.

34. Are you talking to anyone while doing this? No.

35. When were you the saddest in your life? When Emma and Clara were really little. It was hard.

36. Do you own more than one cell phone? Nope, just one.

37. Do you use EBay to buy or sell? I have purchased a number of things on eBay, but never sold.

38. What makes you angry? Insincerity, laziness, ingratitude.

39. Have you ever had a song written about you? Sort of. We make up songs all the time.

40. Have you ever sang in public? If I ever did, I have blocked it out.

41. What songs make you happy? "Freckles," by Natasha Bedingfield (thank you, Shawna!), "What a Wonderful World," most anything sung by Michael Buble...among others.

42. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed? Nothing. I just fall asleep.

43. Do you have a job? Um, yes. I have five children.

44. What does your ipod have in it right now? Lots of music.

45. How many close friends do you have? A few. I've never counted & don't want to start now.

46. What makes you happy? Sleep, staying organized, being busy and productive, playing with my kids, learning new things, travelling, hanging out with Brian.

47. One wish? Travel.

48. Have you ever loved someone and were too scared to tell them? Yes.

49. Next concert? No plans, unless you count the girls' piano recital in the spring :)

50. Name one song that explains your current life."My Wish," by Rascal Flatts.

The Married Couple Goes to the Mall

The married couple enters Bath & Body Works, which is having its huge semi-annual sale.

Husband trails Wife around, feeling a bit out of place. There is a heavy silence about him, and he stands closer than usual to Wife. Wife assumes that his close proximity is his way of telling the strangers in the store that he "belongs" to this female and is not in the store on his own. Husband Insecurity.

Meanwhile, Wife scours the 75% off bin and tries to be quick about it.

Husband, gazing around, proclaims, "This entire store could be replaced by a single bar of Dial."

The couple meanders over to the perfume display, where Wife gives Husband pointers on perfume testers. He is fascinated, obviously new to this art. He has a mishap, and for the rest of the evening he smells of coconuts and lime.

The couple goes to a second store, which sells men's clothing. Husband has been needing some new dress shoes for a while.

Husband browses through the selection. Wife points out three or four ideal pairs, each of which says "SALE" on them. And it's not just an itty bitty sale--the markdowns are significant. January is, after all, the ideal time of year to purchase clothing and shoes.

Husband shrugs and walks toward the exit. Wife trails, trying to convince him to try on a pair or two.

Husband declares, "I consider it a triumph not to buy shoes."

Wife is speechless, but then she remembers that men truly are from Mars.

Twenty Minutes in the Life of Ten-Month Old Twins

Twin A escapes up the stairs while Twin B's diaper is being changed.

Twin B twists and wails during said diaper change, getting poop on the pants.

Twin A spits up on the steps, then crawls through it.

Twin B finishes diaper change and takes off toward the kitchen.

Twin A, squealing happily, is rescued from the steps.

Twin B, now in the kitchen, takes the rubber bands off the cabinet (so much for baby proofing!) and unloads the contents of the cabinet.

Twin B crawls away toward the piano and starts to pound on it.

Twin A follows Twin B and discovers the piano books.

Twin B begins to wail when Older Brother tackles him.

Twin A crawls toward the basement steps and is promptly rescued.

Twins A and B (re)discover the (grownup) books on the bookcase.

Twin B tears pages out of scripture.

Twin B crawls away and is found digging through the bathroom trash can, having already unrolled a large amount of toilet paper.

Twin B protests loudly when the toilet lid is closed, preventing further bathroom exploration.

Twin A, laughing hysterically, takes off for the steps again.

Twin A is rescued.

Twin A spits up again.

Twin B crawls to the bottom of the steps and discovers the shoe rack. Shoes are unloaded.

Twin A takes off for the steps a third time and is quickly retrieved.

Twin A finds a miniscule piece of candy wrapper on the floor, examines it, and places it in the mouth.

Twin B manages to pull over sofa table with a loud crash, spilling the (breakable) contents across the floor.

Twins A and B are removed from the scene while clean up ensues.

Miss Deceptive

Reason #1,124,562 why I love my Clara:

She is frequently asked to fold her pajamas (among other things) and tuck them neatly in her drawer.

But Clara is in a hurry.

This morning, I randomly happened upon this:

Fortunately, she wasn't home. I laughed out loud. Clara--spirited, terrifyingly smart, and a bit bull-headed.

I extracted the articles of clothing from underneath the dresser. Some were stuffed quite far back. And here it all sits, awaiting her return.

Christmas 2008

Better late than never.

Our Christmas celebration this year was simple, but full. It was significantly interrupted by my appendix fiasco, followed by a week of strep throat (Clara & Brian), but we savored being together in our home, having Daddy around, and enjoying the twins' first Christmas season.

In one of the most memorable moments of the season, I found Emma and Clara perched on the couch, singing Christmas carols together.

We enjoyed caroling on Christmas Eve with our good friends and neighbors.

Here is the whole crew of kids, just prior to the caroling.

The twins donned some Santa hats. (Oh, we love those twins!)

After caroling, the kids acted out the Nativity story.

Following in the footsteps of her mom, Emma (as Mary) was a bit taller than her "spouse" (as Joseph).

Emma and Clara reminded Santa that they had been really good in 2008. I'll second that.

Santa came later that night. Apparently Blitzen really liked the carrots.

The highlight of Christmas morning, for me, was watching my parents open the photo history book I had made.

The twins have been enjoying their loot.

Brian's younger brother, Marc, came down from New York for a couple days. They enjoyed playing some network computer games with family in Utah.

Marc and Brian--obviously brothers, wouldn't you say?

The kids also made gingerbread houses. Nathan got a little overzealous with the candy. (Sidenote: I love the fact that we have a picture of the mess, but not the houses themselves. That is just so...us.)

Brian and a few coworkers played Christmas music in the hospital lobby, in what has become an annual tradition.

My multi-talented husband.

He also hung the Christmas lights. This picture doesn't do them justice. They were stunning.

Until next year!

I Did It!

For the first time in my life, I kept my New Year's Resolution for the entire year.

On January 1 of last year, with the impending arrival of my duo, I made the following resolution:
Survive 2008.

And I did it!

Just thought you should know :)

Late as Usual

I bit the bullet and finally made the blog private. We'll see if it lasts :)

I also want to change my URL and blog title, but I am VERY uncreative in this department. Any thoughts?